My Teenage Daughter

Alexandra resisting Daddy's snuggle on her 2nd birthday


Adam and I joke that Alexandra certainly received the memo that she turned two. It happened about two weeks after her 2nd birthday, and then the sass and tantrums and roller coasters of emotion kicked in. About 99% of the time I just feel for her--she's struggling to navigate a whole spectrum of frustration, happiness, anger, and so forth and she's not sure how to do it. About 1% of the time I want to walk about the door and get a stiff drink--pregnant belly and all.

But it seems she also got the memo that she's two going on 16. What's up with that? Seriously, I didn't think this stuff would happen until her tween years at earliest. Things like:

1. "Go away, mommy!" as she ushers me out of the bedroom she has had for approximately one week. I am not allowed in the door. She slams the door. If I insist that the door remain open, I am not allowed to stand in the doorway or she gestures with grand, sweeping motions for me to move out of her range of vision. This just kills me, b/c I was VERY territorial of my room for about as long as I can remember. Karma's a bitch.

2. Fashion crisis every morning. "Socks! No socks!" has become the joking mantra between Adam and I as we try to get her out the door. "Yellow dress" is her new fave outfit, but she only has two yellow dresses and one yellow shirt and when they're dirty...oh my. "Purple shoes! Pink shoes! No! Purple shoes!" Believe me, it's endless. And I am usually negotiating all this after having been woken up 10 minutes prior. Ai, yi, yi...

3. SASS! I was telling her not to touch the fan yesterday b/c I don't want her to have stubs for fingers, especially when it comes time to date. She looked at me, walked over to the fan, touched it, walked away, then looked me in the eye and said, "I touched it." Seriously. I was thrown.

4. "Nooooooo!" (in reference to kisses). Of course, I don't take no for an answer. I made this girl and shoved her almost 10lb body out of my poo-cat and I'm going to kiss her when I want to--PERIOD. But lately the snuggles have become less than plentiful, and that kinda breaks my heart. Makes me happy to have a little mushy-mush on the way to snuggle and kiss 24/7, and I have heard that boys like mommy's kisses much longer than girls do...But dammit, I'm kissing that baby girl anyways. Try to stop me.

At least she's not smoking pot, going to second base, or drinking Boone's Farm yet...