The Referendum

My insightful and lovely adviser at Teachers College posted this link on Facebook the other day, an editorial pinpointing the endless job of comparison with others, particularly as we enter into a time in our lives when we have done enough to look back and question our decisions, perhaps mourning the roads not taken, perhaps celebrating some paths chosen, but also comparing our choices to those of our peers--close friends, co-workers, acquaintances, family members, etc.

I found this piece super insightful. And as much as I have comparison issues that I constantly strive to make peace with, I found that upon reflecting I am pretty content with my life and my choices. So, of course, I made a list of the questionable and the sure things:

QUESTIONABLE:
*My doctorate work--Worth the fact that I now can't buy an apartment until 2017 when my debt is paid off? Don't think so. I have heard that it'll open doors, blah blah blah, but right now I'd just like to stop renting thank you very much.
*Living in NYC. God, I adore this city, but at times I'd like a nice little house in Carrboro, NC, with a yard and proximity to biscuits and Southern accents and kudzu.
*Teaching as a career path. So rewarding, so underpaid. Will my years of feeling satisfied personally outweigh my floundering bank account? God, I hope so. Why didn't I go into a more lucrative profession? Why do I give a shit about others? Dammit!

NEVER DOUBT:
*Marrying Adam. He's the best guy out there for me. No doubt. Never doubt getting married, either. I think all folks should be able to get married if they want to. It does mean something, although I'm not sure I can pinpoint what that is.
*Having kids--was never not an option. Even glad Nico--our little surprise--brought himself into the world when he did. Being a mother has made me a better person.
*Waiting to have kids until my 30s--I traveled all over, took classes, and made myself as good as I could be before having these two babes who will hopefully reap the benefits of my time cultivating myself.
*Moving to NYC--undoubtedly the best move I ever made. Found my career, my partner, and the woman I needed to become. This city defines me in many ways, and I like that.

That's my list for now...Just thinking out loud to cyberspace on a rainy day...