Marital Disputes

Every marriage has its issues, and ours is not without an entire catalog of them ranging from the small to the "I'm divorcing you!" variety. Lately some small marital disputes have been making me giggle and reminding me to be thankful that I have such a great partner in crime. Probably a good thing to dwell on before baby #2 comes and our lives enter the perpetual spin cycle of insanity that children bring to a marriage. Here are a couple funny-haha marital disputes:

COMPOSTING--I hate composting. I am a bad person, I know this, and I really don't give a rip about the tons of organic waste I toss into the garbage for the NYC Dept of Sanitation to haul to the landfill to live happily ever after. I hate composting b/c the compost never gets taken out and turns into a stew-y, smell-y mess in the compost container which then inevitably gets the funk and smells up the kitchen. Adam adores composting. He feels so green and happy and takes baby girl out back to open the festering composter full of maggots and fruit flies and I can see the glee in his eyes. BUT, Adam does not really take out the compost with any regularity, so I have stopped composting. We are at war. He thinks I'm horrid. I don't care. Marital dispute.

BUG KILLING--Bugs. . .If they let me see them, they are dead. I am a serious bug terminator. I have been known to linger in the hallway of our apt with a fly swatter and kill no less than 30 mosquitos in one bloodbath. I get great zeal from this. Adam wants all bugs to go to heaven, and not by my murderous hand but by being "released" to the outside world where they will roam free and never enter our ground floor apartment again. Yeah, right. Those mother f***ers have got to die. I kill any/everything I see (except ladybugs--they're my one exception) and show no mercy. Baby girl is my baby terminator. This weekend we had an ant infestation and I taught her how to smack them with her bare hand. No punks here. The other morning Adam had her on the changing table and a spider was on the wall. He was about to educate her on how spiders are good bugs b/c they eat other bugs when she sat up, smacked it with her bare hand, and said with a beaming smile, "I killed it!" That's my girl.

The list goes on, but these two have been at the forefront lately. We literally argue over them, then look at each other and crack up. I just read somewhere that the key to a good marriage is to argue everyday. Check.