human billy goat

i had a startling revelation today.
i have become a human billy goat.

with alexandra's onset of real people food (not that canned stuff, which, although organic, still seems like wet cat food to me), i have developed the habit of human garbage disposal.

i'm sure all of us who feed kids end up ingesting cheerios, string cheese, chicken nugget pieces, etc. that we don't want or need to eat. it's mindless. the baby wants to feed you, and holds her hand out so lovingly, how can you say, "sweetie, mama's ass is the size of your pack n play...i gotta give these empty calories a rest!"

but i have taken this eating of crap to a new level.

today, i was straightening up the apt, i kept finding veggie booty and annie's wheat bunny crackers all over. but instead of picking them up and putting them in the trash, i popped them into my mouth and ate them. the SICK thing is, i didn't even NOTICE i was doing this, until i found a piece of ancient veggie booty, tossed it back, and couldn't even chew the thing b/c it's consistency was that of rubber. i went to the sink and spit it out, disgusted at my billy goat habits.

what has become of me? i need a mommy muzzle!