It is truly amazing how quickly toddlers pick up on EVERYTHING. From swear words to using "I have to go potty" as a manipulative force to get out of the crib after having been put to bed, Alexandra picks up on the mundane to the important at light speed. No wonder they encourage language learning at this age--she is a veritable sponge.
Being a two-year old, and having just transitioned to being a big sister, time-outs have become way too common in our apartment. I am determined that I will not have a child who hits me, is sassy or rude, or is misbehaved and I am even more determined that I will not spank my child. As someone who grew up being spanked with any/everything around (hairbrush, wooden spoon, belt, willow branches, hands, etc.), I do not think spanking taught me shit. But, I am not going to be one of those White liberal yuppie parents who, after their kid gives them a black eye, says, "Let's talk about your feelings!" before tossing that brat into a time out. We can talk after time out, but if mommy doesn't put you in one, Dept of Child Services might have to be called.
With all the time outs around here, Alexandra has recently started self-imposing time outs when she starts to feel out of control. It's pretty amazing. Usually a small fall or a slight transgression in behavior (as in screaming bloody murder inside = not using inside voices) will foster the Pavlovian association in her head. She'll look at me and say, "I need to go to the cosleeper." Then she'll march into our bedroom, grab a blankie and her pacifier reserved for snuggling with mommy in the morning, turn on the white noise machine, and lay herself down in the cosleeper for five to ten minutes. Then she's back up and good as new.
When she did this yesterday, mid-playdate as her and Phoebe started to fight over big baby doll, I thought that we ALL need a cosleeper--a special place where we can put ourselves for five to ten minutes to drown out the stressful world around us. Wouldn't that be amazing? I can see myself, in the middle of a classroom altercation, just retreating to a little bed in the back of the room and ignoring the students. Or, mid-marital dispute declaring, "I need to go to my special place!" and doing it before words get said that you'd like to retract, before things get ugly, and before you have regrets.
I know we have gyms, alcohol, femme dates, and so forth that serve in place of our metaphorical cosleepers, but last night, as I watched Alexandra trudge to the cosleeper to gather herself, I couldn't help but wish that having a special place as an adult was a bit more literal and simple.
James & I joke about how I need to time-out sometimes. I gotta get myself a co-sleeper!
ReplyDeleteThe child sounds as saintly as a two-year-old can come. Putting herself in her own timeouts?
ReplyDeleteAnd - my co-sleeper = online shopping. Very soothing (until the bill comes, anyway.)
that reminds me of our friends erik and michelle, whom we visited up in NYC like 10 years ago. at the time, they were living in a teensy tiny one-bedroom apartment. we could all 4 barely turn around, it was so small. and i still remember michelle laughing and saying that if they ever got into an argument and needed to get away from each other for a short time to cool down, that the only solution was for one of them to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet.
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