You're a Sucky Parent Awards

Back when Adam and I first met, we had this idea that we wanted to make stickers that said "Bad Walker" and just stick them on folks who stopped immediately on a busy sidewalk, who walked like they were drunk (w/o being so), or who took up too much space. Last weekend I wanted a variation of this idea, a "You're a Sucky Parent" award to give out to some families I saw at brunch on Sunday. Here's the story:

My birthday is two weeks after Alexandra's. For those with kids, you'll understand the hype that goes into celebrating a birthday, therefore by the time Alexandra's day has come and gone we are out of birthday spirit for a bit. I love birthdays, but this year in particular we did nothing for mine as my birthday was right after Alexandra's two year old bash, my mom/stepdad visiting, and one week before we moved. And I was huge and pregnant. The day came and went with minimal fanfare.

Adam then proceeds to feel guilty about the pooh-pooh by birthday received after I give him a kick ass birthday (like I said, I heart birthdays), so he decided we needed a do-over this year. So, my unofficial birthday was celebrated on Sunday, December 13th, which is my second birthday as it was the day I was adopted by my parents. We decided to go to brunch at Bubby's to celebrate. It's not a fancy place, but it's a small schlep from our house to Dumbo and it happened to be pouring rain which made the journey even more purposeful. If we were going out in the rain with two kids, we were going to get our brunch on in a serious manner.

Bubby's is great b/c there's lots of room (a rarity in the city) and it's very kid friendly. In fact, they have a kid wing of the restaurant where there are some grimy plastic toys in a play corner and they corral all the parents and kids in this one area. Good strategy I must say, but annoying when you're surrounded by douchebag parents.

Now I understand that some days your kids are satan's spawn and no amount of good parenting will change that. But the sense of entitlement that the parents exuded was disgusting. One family across from me had two toddler boys. The dad sat reading the Times and the mom staring off into space (huh?) while their kids proceeded to throw food all over, wander to tables and antagonize other patrons, and be loud and annoying. Their 18 mo old came over to our table, took Alexandra's crayons, ripped her coloring sheet away, stole some cutlery, etc. I was trying to politely tell this kid to go back to mommy/daddy but he was with us for about 7 minutes (no lie) until his dad put down the Times and got him. Seriously, dude, I do not want to watch your friggin' kid for you while I'm holding my baby, dealing with my toddler, and trying to sip a bloody mary. Step up. Those two needed a "You're a Sucky Parent" award. Big time. And when the mom stood up she was 8+ months pregnant. God help us.

Then they left and were replaced by a diva-esque mom with a 4 year old boy sporting a stylish faux-hawk. This kid was--no exaggeration--running laps around the restaurant. All over. Bumping into waiters carrying trays with hot coffee, speeding up and down the stairs, and his mom was lamely saying, "Sit down now." "I'm serious." "Come here." but she never once got off her derriere to put this kid in a seat, give him a time out, or whatever. He was out.of.control. WTF? A "You're a Sucky Parent" award was very much needed.

I know how hard it is to be a parent, but I am very conscious of my kids and us out in public. Going out for a nice brunch isn't an every weekend event for us, and I just wanted these folks to get it together so that I wouldn't be distracted by their lack of parenting skills. Sad thing is, these kids are probably going to grow up to be douchebags like their parents and it's really not their fault, it's just a case of sucky parenting.