Relive One Moment (TMI)

Since I mentioned my old student Vaughn in my last post, I had to share one piece of his writing that I saved from teaching him. I have a folder of kids' writing from over the years that has made me laugh, moved me, or was sweet. I keep this folder in my file drawer at home and refer to it on the days I want to quit and make pretty milk-froth designs on cappucinos for a living.

The assignment was to write a page on one moment of your life that you'd relive over and over again for eternity. Vaughn's response was:

"If I had to relive one moment over again it would be the first time I had sex. It was magical. Me a young stallion, her a beautiful princess, rolling around in each others love and sweat on that hot summer day when school was out and my mom was at work. It was fun. A LOT (capitalized and underlined) of fun. I relive that moment all over and over again and again and again."

My comments: 65%, Too much information!,nice use of metaphor, NOT a whole page....