the reproduction production

Last Friday I went to try on my fave pair of pre-pregnancy designer jeans. I try them on periodically to measure my body shifting, but last week they fit! Albeit not exactly the same as they did before my pregnancy, but they no longer made me feel like a sausage and I could wear them out in public without feeling like my circulation would be cut off from my waist down.

Seems like small scale apartment renovation, packing, moving, and unpacking have facilitated a weight loss in both Adam and myself. Thank god. We had grown very accustomed to hanging on our couch, watching downloaded TV series, and eating organic cookies since Alexandra came around that we'd both managed to maintain a certain baby flab. But now it's gone and we have emerged out of the cocoon of chub victorious!

But, of course, the discussions re: baby #2 have now begun.

One of the many things I appreciate about my New York peers is that many of us agonize over if we should kids, when we should have them, how many to have, the impact of our reproduction on the world at large, on the environment, zero population growth, urban living and city finances, etc, etc, etc. There is no mindless reproduction here (for the most part). We are all very critical thinkers (as well as slightly cynical) about many issues, and this trickles down into our reproduction practices as well.

So Adam and I have been belaboring the one kid versus two agenda. Neither of us is BFF with our siblings, but we are both certainly glad to have them and couldn't imagine growing up and/or being an adult without them. We recognize that the cost of daycare, the space issue in small apartments, the looming cost of a college education, our desire to stay in Brooklyn, the challenge of public schools, my inner fears of getting fat all over again and giving birth to another ginormous babe, our goals of international travel....all these things get increasingly complicated with a second child. One kid = we can negotiate all this quite easily. Two kids = a whole different kettle of fish.

But how do you measure--financially or otherwise--the life of a second child? All our reasons for having only one child reflect, for the most part, our desires for an easier financial future; one child allows us to maintain our relatively posh life. But how can we explain to Alexandra, when she's older, that we didn't think a sibling for her was worth giving up our ability to go to Europe, to eat organic meat, and to rent in a nice neighborhood? It's a hard thing to reconcile.

(photo of my belly the night my water broke: june 23, 2007)