group work : parenting

We've been in school for a week, and I just had my students do group work for the first time yesterday. We're doing background knowledge work in order to read "The Crucible" and I had the students look at political cartoon depicting the McCarthy Era in order to understand the idea of scapegoating, mass hysteria, etc. Unfortunately, due to our current political climate, I have never had an easier time explaining this phenomenon to a group of youth. They totally get it. But that's not the point of my post today.

Of course, the usual roles emerge in group work: the girl who will write but won't talk, the boy who stands up and explains perfectly the entire exercise after screwing around the whole period, the group that doesn't complete it, the group that completes it in five minutes and is bored...You probably remember these exercises.

I always found group work so useless. Being the control freak that I am, I just wanted to do it all so that it was done right. I wanted to write in marker b/c I have always had nice handwriting. I would bite my tongue from telling others, "No, don't say that, that sounds stupid." I'd try not to wince as a not-so-eloquent group member explained our work and missed the whole point. You wouldn't believe how much group work is involved in the doctoral process. I am so thankful to be done with coursework and hope I never have to do group work again as long as I live.

And then we had a baby. Our marriage was literally smooth like butter until our little baby girl came along. Then it was constant negotiation. Bedtimes, what to eat, when to start solids, when to wean, how to travel, who to travel to see, money, money, money! Ahhhhh! It's like group work hell all over again. And even though my husband Adam is competent and loving and the best dad, group work is never a 50-50 split.

I couldn't help but see our marriage staring me in the face as I walked around the room, group to group, yesterday. I wish I could tell the kids to work on compromise in group work b/c one day it might help them in parenting (although a handful are parents already), but they wouldn't get me. They'd think I was some crazy old lady.

Maybe I am.