Orgasmic Birth

On Mother's Day I had a stoop sale. Selling tons of crap you've decided to purge from your apartment might not be some women's idea of a great time, but I was so anxious to get the stuff out of our space, the day was beautiful, and the whole experience was surprisingly fun. I loved chatting up the neighborhood folks, meeting new people, and I had several great friends who just stopped by to keep me company (in addition to my sweet baby girl and hubby). It was my recession stoop sale--everything's $1--and I made $180! Woot! Pretty much the exact amount I spent on maternity clothes last week.

But my favorite customer was the woman who rode up on her bike and as she perused my books started asking when I was due, was this my first or second baby, etc. When I told her this was my second, she forewarned me that she had her second on her kitchen floor b/c she had no idea she was so close to giving birth, but when she reached down and felt the baby's head crowning she knew it was too late to get to the hospital. Husband delivered baby on kitchen floor.

This woman and I had the EXACT same first labor: all back labor, agonizing pain, retained placenta, etc. Since her second labor was regular labor (not back labor) she had no idea she was so close to giving birth when it happened b/c the pain was so much less intense. Hence the unexpected home birth.

But then came the climax (pun intended) of her story when she looked me in the eye and said, "And when the baby came out, I had the biggest and most earth-shattering orgasm of my life." My jaw dropped. My friends, Bethany and Maddy, were silent. She went on to explain that she tells this to all the pregnant women she meets b/c she wants them to know it CAN happen. But, as amazing as it sounds, she also admitted with a smirk that nothing has quite compared since.

I have heard a bit about orgasmic birth, and I always pictured it being some crazy hippie woman in a tub in her bedroom with incense burning and chanting music in the background with candlelight and maybe a small bit of marijuana involved (or other drugs). To know that this plain, normal Park Slope mom had an orgasmic birth in her kitchen, even while terrified that she was birthing in her kitchen, well....it makes it seem more normal or possible or real...

I'll keep y'all posted if, come September, I join the ranks of orgasmic birth women b/c my first birth experience was about 180 degrees from orgasmic, that's for sure.

Here's to hoping!

Veteran's Day & my Grandma

When I was home last September (2007) after having just given birth, my Grandma told me the story of giving birth to her first baby, my mom, three days before D-Day while my Grandpa, who was in the military, was deployed overseas.

My Grandma was alone in the hospital. Estranged from her family and my Grandpa away, she went into the hospital to give birth to my mom by herself. The hospital was incredibly short-staffed because many doctors and nurses had been sent overseas to help tend to the men fighting in the Allied Forces. My Grandma was left alone in a hospital room with a nurse or two who'd check in periodically to see how she was. As my mom crowned, the nurses yelled at my Grandma to "keep the baby in" because the one doctor on staff "was in the middle of surgery and wouldn't be able to deliver the baby now!" So, my poor grandma was asked to do the impossible: hold back that baby that's coming out of you-know-where. Can you imagine?

The doctor arrived, my mom was born, and all was okay (believe it or not), but when I try to envision myself in a similar circumstance I get all twisty and uncomfortable inside. I know that in 1944 a husband would not have been in the delivery room and that natural birth, etc, had yet to have its renaissance, but even after my mom was born, there was my Grandma, alone in the U.S. with her brand new baby.

While the veterans of this country deserve to be celebrated on this day, it's essential to remember that these men and women don't exist as islands in this world. They're connected to families back home, and those families are also "serving" their country in myriad, bizarre ways that we can't even fathom. So today I'm thinking of you, Grandma, and the sacrifices you made for our country by being married to a man who served in the military for a large part of your marriage.

No wonder you're such a tough one!